Some random dude walked up to me while I was waiting outside a food place for my food and asked me this question.
I said “no, I dont give out random favors” and something along the lines of that’s sus.
Is it rude to say no to random dude that asks for a favor?
Rudeness is in the presentation, not the fact.
If you say “fuck off”, that’s rude.
If you say “I don’t do favors for people I don’t know” or “I don’t take requests from strangers” those are neutral and acceptable facts.
If you say “you can ask, but it doesn’t mean I’ll do it” that’s another neutral and acceptable way to address it if you’re willing to see what the favor might be, since some favors might me acceptable.
I tend to be willing to hear the request, but only with the caveat that I will most likely not comply. Last time a stranger asked if I could “help them”, my response was “I doubt I can, and I might not, but ask away”. They asked, and all they wanted was a light. I no longer smoke, but I carry a lighter. So I checked the surroundings and lit his cig
Years ago, I had a patient that lived in a really shifty area, and folks would approach me on my way up to their apartment. I’d see them coming and before they could reach me, I’d tell them that if they were wanting something to not waste their time, but if they were looking for trouble, they found it.
Which was rude in other circumstances, but necessary in that place at that time.
Your response was acceptable in that time at that place. Not necessarily the friendliest way of phrasing it, but sometimes being friendly doesn’t go well.
The ones that you call neutral, I would say are still rude.
There’s always leeway in that kind of thing for sure.
Part of it Is what we assume is the minimum degree of energy/effort we’re required to spend on a given person. Places with a higher degree of obligation to strangers are going to see what I call neutral as anything from rude to outright antisocial.
Even here in the south, where the obligation is relatively minor, my neutral would be seen as unfriendly, though not rude. People shit on southern hospitality because it can seem artificial, but there is a genuine “code” where the standard of obligation is higher than in many places in the US. Someone approaches you politely in public here, you really are supposed to hear them out at least. Some of the older folks still think that if someone drops by to visit you almost have to invite them in if they’re even remotely known to you. And likely offer them a drink. And you won’t talk shit about them until they leave lol.
I grew up in notoriously rude New Jersey. You might be surprised to learn that we also had a similar code, we’re just less tactful about it. People in that region are assholes but genuinely kind, helpful people. Kind of like the opposite of the south.
See, that’s the thing people do “the opposite of the south”
Have you been down here for extended times? Ever been in a rural town when a house burns down and everyone rallies to keep the family going? Or seen the nigh endless parade of food when a person is sick, or dying?
This fucking idea that southern manners and hospitality are fake is such bullshit. Empty headed bullshit at that. Oh, there’s plenty of “bless your heart” going on, but there’s also people feeding every damn kid that’s in the house, no matter whose they are.
The fuck outta here with that “opposite” bullshit.
Right fucking now, my sister has three kids that are no blood relation in her house, feeding them, making sure they’re clothed, making sure they were getting to school, making birthday parties happen.
Why? Because that’s what you fucking do.
That’s just as much a part of southern hospitality as whatever half-assed concept you think it is.
Opposite of the south. The fuck?
Yes. I have spent time living in the south and I have family from there.
Your rant has nothing to do with my comment. I was talking about superficial friendliness versus rudeness.
Well, the reason it came across otherwise is this sentence:
When that’s followed up by “the opposite of the south”, it would read that the entire sentence is what’s opposite, not just part of it.
My apologies for not asking for clarification and assuming the worst.
firmly agree. It’s all about the presentation. For example, using what was provided above the act of just saying no was a neutral sentence. Adding afterward that that’s just sus changed it from being a neutral to a negative because now you’re accusing the other person of being sketchy/sus,without providing the ability to prove otherwise. That I find rude.