I wanna do really many things (as hobbies). But mostly I just think of them and nothing more. I have plenty of time and I still do some things, but that’s not enough. So how do I make my wannabe hobbies become my habits?
It will depend on you as a person. I will tell you things that helped in my experience:
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Buying things isn’t the same as starting. Although ordering is seductive false substitute for it. Don’t buy things until you need them. If you want to sculpt clay start with some dirt and a fork. Only when your 10hrs in do you buy things. (Obviously caveats abound but generally use the imperfect things you have)
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it can be overwhelming deciding what hobby to invest in; they pile up and each takes a little mental effort to sustain even in purgatory. This tends toward guilt in the long run. When new things arise, write them down, don’t start them, there is time. Even if you have to choose randomly, all are valid, commit to it for at least enough time to do something.
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planning can become an all consuming task. If you find yourself on your phone during the weekend; just get up and start. If you want to do wood working; just get up go collect some sticks and start making a chair. It will be shit, it may not even be functional, but begin, and you will learn more from that and be more energized than a month contemplating.
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Know the difference between something you enjoy watching, and something you want to do. It’s ok if you just like watching people make sculptures, there are plenty of other hobbies, it’s not a black mark on your creative ego.
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Don’t immediately seek external validation or comparison when you do start. Odds are you will be shit. And thats ok. If your interest wains without external validation; it might be that you crave the validation of being good at something and not a hobby. You can still succeed with that being your aim; but it is a long road to walk and the validation you seek will be hard won. You chances of success increase if you can find a hobby which you enjoy, and that you could happily perform in isolation after a ling day. If you find that then external validation will be a sweet and unexpected reward before you know it.
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if you have projects that have been abandoned, and weigh on your soul. Be willing to set them free. Value them for the experiences they gave you. Give them to someone who will use them. It might be bittersweet but much of their value is in memory. If you ever decide to restart you will be surprised how quickly you reach the same level of completion.
I have to admit, this is a magnificent answer. Thank you very much!
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- Step 1: Figure out why you’re not doing thing.
- Step 2: Take steps to address the reason why you’re not doing thing.
Seems simple, and in a way it is, but in other ways it can be very difficult.
On step 1, I recommend first researching the term “maladaptive daydreaming”. Seems relevant to what you’re describing.
There’s lots of advice here, but I don’t think anyone has mentioned removing the distractions that pull your attention away. Phone, tv and video games are big ones for me. I have a rule that while i’m working on making a game, that I don’t regularly play other games, and it makes me much more productive. If you can stop yourself from doomscrolling, you’ll probably be more motivated to do all kinds of things.
I wrote a novella four years ago in a manic buzz. It’s just a first draft, but I loved every minute of it. I realized this week, actually, that I was putting that magic energy on a pedestal and was just waiting around until the bug bit me again to get to writing. That’s not… going to happen. So, instead, I decided to write every day. Just a few minutes, at least. It’s day 3 and I’ve written more than I have in the last 3 years.
So, probably make it less intimidating. Do it smaller, small enough to actually get started.
I find this helpful “ADHD alien motivationg”. Also depression can make doing hobbies hard.
You have to use boredom. Boredom is what has naturally lead humans to be curious about things. Turn off all screens and sit in a room with the only option being boredom or a new hobby. Naturally you will choose the hobby.
You have to be strict about not having other distractions especially screens as your mind wants the easy route out of boredom.
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Read atomic habits or similar books. Find the smallest possible step you need to start. Reduce friction the starting regularly to an absolute minimum. Make the thing part of your personality, don’t say “I want do draw”, say “I want to be someone who is good at drawing”. Etc…
Figure out what’s holding you back, and destroy it. I know for me (and many others), its perfectionism, or the taste thing in that Ira Glass quote:
“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”
The simple solution to this is to commit to making something that’s bad. Make enough bad things and you’ll learn the skills needed to make some decent things.
Is this hobby you want to start actually something you find fun or something you think you’d enjoy if you were the person you think you are?
My tricks to get going; Talk to people about it, this gives me external accountability. It then becomes ”I said I was gonna do it” and I don’t want to be someone who just talks shit. Or the person joins the activity and that makes it much harder to skip.
Think about the end goal or find a critical point. If i want to be a hobby farmer, i need to do the boring part of soil prep. Otherwise summer comes and Ill again be a shit talker. If i don’t sow these seeds now, theres nothing to farm later.
Prepare a work station and leave stuff out; In place and in the way. I make little specialised toolboxes or work stations. Its about lowering the barrier to getting started.
Simplify your ideas. You don’t need to see A-Z. Just reaching B can change circumstances and create inspiration. I employ ”donkey mode” by briefly considering the consequence of doing a bad job, how poorly others have done it but still succeeding, and repeat the mantra donkey mode donkey mode. I can deal with the consequence of my poor labour after the fact. Someone already made it worse than I did.
If things feel insurmountable; just focus on a small thing. I have many projects running in parallel and taking just a single step forward is great. When all the pieces are in place: execute. Dig that damn garden, don’t worry what gets planted.
And don’t be afraid to cut projects loose or shelve them. Having an infinite todo list where hobbies usually get knocked down, prevents the brain from feeling ”done and settled”, which keeps me from getting into something fun.
Cheers and good luck ✌️
I find I just have to. I used to think about all the things I would want to do once I have the time but now I just want to go into a torpor for a few thousand years.
LMK if you figure it out.
Honestly, just starting any activity is the hardest part. Find something you want to try, and just force yourself to do it. If you like it, then keep going. If not, maybe the hobby isn’t what you imagined.
One thing that helps me is thinking of the smallest possible first step, then committing to doing that thing alone. For instance, if I’m having trouble getting myself to write something, I might tell myself to just make a few bullet points of things that need to be included or write a single unedited paragraph. If I’m having trouble studying something I want to study, I might tell myself to make/go through one flashcard. Usually I end up writing more than a few bullet points/that one paragraph and doing far more than one flashcard.
