I’m the opposite of most here. Cooking can hold my attention on quick but medium complexity recipes. Add X, wait a few minutes mixing in high fire until it starts to water; add Y, keep mixing for another couple minutes until it starts to change color, etc. No period of just waiting, you’re always engaged. I find it relaxing, my mind focuses on just that one thing.

That’s less about ADHD than trauma, though the first often begets the other. I’m on the same boat. A trauma focused therapist has helped me.

Forgiving myself, allowing myself to suck at something, to not be perfect, were my starting points. I haven’t got to know myself yet, but some of me seems to be shining through the cracks I’m growing on my masks.

The feeling of a wasted life is a recurring one. A whole lot of could have beens. I’m suppose to mourn it and let go instead of lamenting it. I’m not there yet.

I do recommend you find a good therapist. Professional help is a must. Good luck.

Well, fall. Less pollen allergies. But yeah.

At this point we’re talking past each other, which is unfortunate. I’ve had first aid training including CPR and AED operation, plus a few refreshers over the years. It was always stressed that death was a near certainty if you don’t provide CPR at the right time. And someone expecting the machine to do it all, in a high stress situation typical of AED use, has a reasonable probability of failing to do, even when instructed by the device.

I think you’re focusing on the wrong part here. Some people will not do CPR at all. And a lot of people think an AED will perform all the needed steps to resuscitate someone. If someone like that were to use an AED, they’re very likely to kill someone.

AEDs STOP THE HEART. It’s up to you to restart with CPR afterwards

if you’re not confident in your CPR skills, do not apply an AED!

There was a Mythbusyers where did cultures, which is when you put the sample in a growth medium (think ideal environment for microbe multiplication). This can only detect presence or absence of microbial contamination, and which kind.

As a science experiment, it’s fundamentally flawed. A preventative measure must be evaluated by quantitative methods.

You know how antiseptic soaps / gels proudly display they kill 99.9 or 99.98% of germs? It’s not 99.9% of species of germs, it’s 99.9% of germs that come in contact with it. Because 100% is impossible, and our bodies can deal just fine with a little bit of foreign invasion. (Incidentally, regular soap is about 99% effective, so use whatever soap you like and leave the antibacterial stuff for only when someone is actually sick.)

Anyway, closing the lid (or any other measure) will not be 100% effective, but a half-second intervention that significantly cuts exposure. It’s a no brainer, just close the fucking lid.

With cleaning in general, there is never fully anything. It’s about abatement. If a measure is (for example) 80% effective, the whole chain forward will have contamination numbers 80% lower. So even if you keep your toothbrush in a case, it will have (again, made up numbers here) 80% less contamination. Which, depending on the microbe, it could mean the difference between a immuno-compromised person catching or not a disease.

Now, in your house, you do you. But it baffles me that the norm for public restrooms in the US, even in hospitals, is to have no lid at all.

I thought you’d provide a list of TLDs that weren’t US controlled (that you know of).

I was promised a list of TLDs. Where list?

I think it’s a generational thing.

Thanks for the heads up. I have a long commute and don’t really need anything to make me sleepier. I think I can get a dispensation to work from home for the beginning of the treatment if it comes to that.

These are prescription drugs. There’s no “not talking to a doctor”. The anecdotes are useful when searching for a drug that works for me. Because there’s no clinical way to determine the right drug, at least not yet. Thanks for the concern, but my psychologist, neurologist, and endocrinologist will all have a say in my treatment. And if I want to have a say myself and ask the right questions, I gotta get informed.

I got that vibe from your post. I hope this one bucks the trend for you.

Determining what medicine to start with is a very active research topic. If you’re very hyperactive, perhaps stimulants are the way to go. If attention deficit is the dominant factor, perhaps try non stimulants first. They pose a lower risk of addiction and supposedly lesser side effects, but that is very dependent on pacient and specific medicine.

Obligatory I’m not a health professional and this isn’t medical advice. Your psychiatrist is the best person to answer these questions.

Holy fuck, that’s a cursed hand.

BetterHelp and their ilk have proven to be exploitative of both patient and therapist. Most therapists nowadays will consult over video calls and take direct payment. Find one you’re comfortable with and start. Avoid intermediary platforms.

Thank you, that was powerful.

The way to help her is not trying to change her mind. Show acceptance. You love her, but the way you manifest it hurts her.

You have to learn how to love. I don’t mean care for her. I mean love, as in taking her in all: the good, the bad, the ugly.

She’s allowed to be stubborn, sad, angry, suspicious. Do not admonish her for showing those “bad” emotions, specially if you don’t think they’re warranted. All you can do then is ask how she feels and whether she’d like to get a hug, or perhaps just be left alone.

It’s going to take time. Building trust always does. But she won’t listen to you until you become a person she reaches out to when things get tough. Right now it sounds like she doesn’t feel you got her back.

I sincerely hope for the both of you that you can deepen your relationship before you go live on your own. It really gets much much harder after that.