You used to be my hero

Less than what you paid for it.

I’m offended.

Not by this or anything, but just in general.

Tarantino set the bar really high. Let’s see how he does!

Nah they brag about it. I’m not even joking. Had a dude say it the other day. And I’m in Cali.

You were both eerily close to correct though.

Probably.

I wouldn’t be tackling drywall work if I were him. Figuring out how to turn screws has completely halted this fridge operation.

I prarie dog it

No one read this to Trump

Yeah I know but because I missed a sentence I should not be giving any advice about such things.

Ok. Nevermind. Do not get a carbon monoxide detector.

Is it gas? If so get a carbon monoxide detector immediately if you don’t already have one.

I still haven’t managed to get into watching play videos with the exception of a few crazy speed running vids. Some of those guys are crazy talented. My obsession actually started with a speed runner doing a documentary type video about Tetris finally being beaten. It was terribly interesting. Couldn’t believe I watched a 2 hour video about a game I never even played. It was by summoning salt if anyone is curious.

Oddly enough I feel the same way about games now. I used to play a lot but haven’t touched anything in ages. I do however watch retrospectives about games every single night in bed.

I have way more excitement now about listening about game development or retro game reviews/systems than I ever did about actually playing them.

My daughter recently asked why I don’t play game if I listen/watch about them so much. I didn’t want to tell her that her growing up is a huge reason why, but it’s honestly the truth. I don’t have time to play anymore and that time is better doesn’t with her and furthermore the rewards for playing aren’t worth it but learning about it through these videos is somehow even more satisfying now.

I can count to a thousand without my hands at all. In fact, I could probably go way higher than that.

Probably like Spotify wrapped but even dumber.

Drink a verification can to continue

That can be done at least once. Maybe more, depending on preparedness and speed. Keep me updated.

Sure, I can help with that!

First off, I think you might have been confusing “tiger” with a “cougar”.

A cougar is commonly referenced as an older lady with an above average sex drive, usually single and “on the prowl”.

To inflate a cougar it is generally recommended to first offer them 3 or 4 strong alcoholic cocktails. Once the cougar has consumed them they are generally more receptive to general flirtations such as -

“Wow, I can’t believe you’re single!”

Or

“I love your leopard print pants, they look great!”

If those don’t seem to work you can always try the popular -

“I’ve never been with an older woman”

Although I recommend this final one as a last resort, as the cougar might perceive this as a criticism on her advanced age, causing her to feel bad about the grown children she has that never call anymore, or remind her that gravity has long since conquered her bodies will. However, many cougars will take this as an instinctual cue to educate you in their no doubt extremely extensive knowledge in the act of one night stands and sexual gratification.

Once the cougar has been properly inflated the possibilities are numerous, though not endless.

Tips - if successful, be sure to have an Uber ride ready for the cougar to take her back to her territory before either you or they have sobered completely. This will ensure both your safety and hers in the event the harsh realities of existence happen to become clear again.

Always make sure the cougar doesn’t come in contact with you outside of these circumstances, as it can be humiliating for both you, and her children (should they happen to call).

Is there anything else I can help you with?

You can inflate anything at least once