Pandantic [they/them]

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  • 121 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 28th, 2023

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  • Opening up your relationship to another is tricky - you have to have immense trust in all involved. Do you trust that this guy isn’t just trying to get your wife? Do you trust that your wife isn’t just trying to get another man in the bed or transitioning over to him? Do you trust yourself to not be jealous when he takes her to bed (or goes on a one-on-one date)? If any of these questions gave you a little twinge of sick in your gut, that means you need to explore that - is it something you can overcome with conversations and agreed limits or is it too deep?

    I was in a triad and it took some work to get over my jealousy (which I had in all my previous relationships and was not healthy anyway). However, it was a really rewarding experience - I had a same-gender partner to do things with, being with two people in bed is fun, and when things went bad with one partner, I had another one to emotionally support me and help me work through it before having a conversation with the other.

    However, again, you have to trust that everyone has the others’ best interests at heart because there’s definitely the potential for one to try and turn the other against you if they aren’t trustworthy.

    Good luck!











  • Maybe I’m wrong here but to me it feels like they become less human…

    Oof, try not to do that. De-humanizing a people is a slippery slope.

    If you look at the rhetoric spewed by our president-elect and his flunkies, you can see where many Americans (at least 77m) get their marching orders. Unfortunately, the rest of us are just left to deal with this bad rap because of it. A lot of it comes from, as others said, propaganda in the media - distraction techniques, obfuscation, identity politics - because it sells. This, of course, also stems from our obsession with capitalism - letting the market and million/billionaires do whatever they want because it’s “good for the economy”. We haven’t matured enough to know that what’s good for the worker is good for the economy (or more insidious theories of this being done purposefully to keep us in “survival mode”).

    Many of us who are not as you describe are moving out - a sort-of “vote with your wallets” of what country we support. However, not everyone has the ability to do that, and still others have a desire to fix this country. So, don’t paint Americans with such a broad brush because there are many of us who look at those you are speaking of with shame and disgust.